• Sometimes It's Okay to Walk Away - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - November 17
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    Sometimes It's Okay to Walk Away
    By Jen Ferguson

    "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." - Colossians 4:6, ESV

    In the earlier years of our marriage, Craig and I discovered we had two very different ways of processing information. While I'd like to say we came to the conclusion right away that he is an internal processor and I am an external processor and that we made the appropriate accommodations for each other, that would not be true.

    In fact, when Craig would say he needed time to think, I would take it as abandonment, as though he didn't want to talk with me about the subject ever. I had watched my own parents come to a stalemate and then just stew in resentment. Arguing turned to silence and very few things seemed to end in resolution or reconciliation. I was afraid for him to leave a conversation because my fear was if we didn't resolve it now, it would never get resolved. I had learned to hate silence.

    From Craig's perspective, he would find himself sometimes quickly getting angry about things I said while we were processing through a certain subject. He didn't understand at the time that just because I said something, didn't mean I truly believed it or that it was my final conclusion.

    For me to get to what I actually think, I have to throw out all possible options so I can get down to the final answer. If I don't, I get lost in my own head and end up just thinking in circles.

    After enough arguments, we began to understand how we process differently and how to accommodate each other so that we could both have some measure of peace as we worked things out.

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